Chaos

And for our one month-aversary, I will commemorate the chaos of pulling off a DIY wedding and thank everyone who made it possible. Read at your own risk, it will be long, the list is lengthy:

I'd like to say that before the wedding I was cool, calm and collected. I'd like to say that before the wedding I was always happy and nothing could get in the way of the joy I felt. I'd like to say that the week before the wedding everything was all in place and there was nothing to worry about. I'd like to say that I never worried and always trusted that the day would be perfect. I'd like to say that the week before the wedding, I never lost sight of what is really important about getting married. I'd like to say all of these things, but unfortunately it wasn't true.

Now, I know that you are now envisioning a little monster Rylee walking around barking orders, having tearful mental breakdowns, and losing hope in all things good. And this is only partially true. These moments hit me at times of despair. And I really wish they hadn't but they did. But there were enough good moments that week too to distract from the negative Nancy I was. And to anyone I may have been a monster to and to anyone I seriously freaked out when I cried, I am so so sorry. There were moments that week where I lost sight of Rylee and I can never get that back. I am so sorry.

But there were also great moments of that week too. There were moments where I wasn't cursing the DIY wedding, and moments that I thought that the barn really wasn't that hot, and there were moments that believe it or not I had hope and I really trusted that this day was going to be absolutely everything I dreamed it would be. And these were the moments where I looked around and realized that I owe my life to some of the most amazing people because it really was everything I dreamed of and more. I found out the next day that there were minor disasters, the dinner was served later than expected and the beef had then been out too long, we ran out of ice very quickly, we also ran out of water, we kept partying past the time we were supposed to, the people were still outside when we arrived, and most of all it was hot. But if it weren't for me telling you this, you would have had no idea. And I didn't. It was a perfect night for me and I owe a huge thank you to the people who kept it this way by averting these crises.

I guess what I am saying is that everyone will tell you when planning a wedding not to sweat the small stuff. And I was still getting that advice two days before. But it's really hard. Planning a wedding at a venue that isn't real and where you have to plan everything, it's hard. And it's emotional. And it's tireless. And people will give you more advice than you could ever swallow so how do you know which to follow and how do you know how to fix it when you are failing? If I had to do it again, sure there are so many things I would do differently, especially to make life easier for my mom, my family and me, but that's not the point. If you want practical tips on planning a DIY wedding, I could give those all day long but the reality is that my tips for anyone else don't matter. What matters is following what makes you happy. If ironing napkins for 4 hours makes you happy, then gosh darn it, you go buy those napkins off eBay instead of renting them! And if you love washing dishes the day after your wedding, then rent them from an Amish man instead of your caterer! And if it makes you happy to revise at least 40 copies of your program and still get something wrong, then do it yourself! And if you think that all of these things make me crazier, then you're right! And I could not have pulled it off with out the people who ran around last minute, kept me sane days and hours before, fed me when I forgot, gave me drinks when they knew I needed to calm down, going above and beyond without being asked. I love them. All of them:

My mom and sisters who dealt with crazy Rylee when the tailor cut out the wrong part of my dress.

The man and men who gave me many a pep-talk and held me accountable to me all while loving me and understanding me more than anyone else.

Madeline Rose who continued to beautify every DIY even from bed rest and who would crutch down the aisle just because I asked.

Aunt Becky, the Queen and savior of the whole extravaganza. She folded programs, ran to buy every last minute gift, helped before and after, ironed for hours, made display tags, checked on the location before. She and Uncle Mike so generously gave up almost a week of their life to work tirelessly to see that everything my mom and I had planned for could be realized.

The work crew, setting up and tearing down. Tim and I left on Friday to head to Confession and Mass and the power of our family still amazes me. By the time we got back, the entire barn was transformed. 

My Aunt Karen and Ronni both are role models of productivity for me. They say they are coming to help and that quite literally means that they will see something and do it, no need to delegate. It is my type A personalities dream team.

The Matriarch is the moral support in all things.

So this girl was gone almost all summer, and as soon as she arrived back into town we had saved all the dirty jobs for her. Well really just every job for her. MOH right? Nope. She achieved saint status for this performance, above and beyond. Remember when we were younger and we never used 'favorite' and instead always said 'best'? Well Torey, I love you, thank you, you are my BEST Maid of Honor!

Torey and Shannon were so intense that they had taken to running to the Barn in the morning to set up. Those of us lazy ones instead drove and met them with their materials for the day. This beautiful backdrop that they envisioned and created cost a total of $13, and too many near-death old ladder experiences.

And where do you go with a broken heart in tow? What do you do with a leftover you? You go to Shannon that's where. All week, we had to force her to eat because she was stopping for nothing. She spent many an hour picking out invitations with me and even more hours addressing them. The night before graduation. 

She constantly gave of herself and asked for nothing. She is my model of humility and hospitality and just thank you. ((Are you going to kill me for this picture? Yes.))

Hey-oh it's big meg. And we gave her a hard time all too frequently but she seriously gave constantly of her busy schedule and did all of my mindless tasks without questioning my sanity which crazy Rylee appreciated especially making sense of a nonsense seating chart.

And here is the crew again, the total transformation crew. They set up tables, chairs, linens, place settings, flowers, decor, tents, and signs in a matter of seemingly minutes. So much love abounding for our family for making it real. If you are looking to hire for you're barn wedding, they are namely: the Magees, the Kenneys, the Echards, the Leliaerts, the VanMeters, the Ballou, and the Casey. Notice the individual shout out?

My cousins made the beer run the night before.

Tested out the kids table.

And even got ice on the night of the wedding.

My life would not even be without Liz and Lara. So much love and support and sanity from them. And all around joy. And without question, they created one of a kind boutonnieres day of, because have I mentioned that I am crazy?

And my momma. (This is the only week-of wedding picture I had of you). My very own wedding planner and best friend of my life. I could not have done this without you and I wouldn't want to imagine any part of wedding planning that way either. I love you so much, thank you for always being willing to split a bottle of wine or pot of coffee to plan the wedding of my dreams with me.

And who would I be without appreciating the love and support from this man. He constantly kept me grounded and kept me happy and pleasantly put up with my fierce anxiety all week life.

((Not pictured but equally as important: All of our fantastic vendors. The Whites/ Neihaus'/ Kenney clan who helped clean everything up the next day and I do mean everything. Molly and the Blums with the Barn. The High School helpers. The Greene's who went to get more alcohol in times of trouble. Johnny and Lisa for attending to the H2O need. Barb and her cookie organizing goddess-ness and the whole Echard family for organizing a cooling plan. Mrs. Verhiley for Ironing all things linen and Mrs. Godfrey for the Hot Dogs (my dream come true! and every other dancing persons too). Mrs. Laderer for providing breakfast the next morning and for Mrs. Landgraf who provided our bridal lunch, thank you.))

And for all of our lovely, lovely guests. One month later and I can't help but grin with the joy of the memory. The greatest gift you gave us was the perfection of your presence. Thanks for bearing through the heat to celebrate our love and our sacrament, for without you we couldn't imagine it at all. And thank you, most especially, to the graces of this beautiful sacrament that have made looking back on this day and that crazy week much more pleasant than I am sure it was for anyone who had to interact with me. 

I'm sorry and I love you. Peace.